Zombies Instinctively Procreate

Sunshine Zombiegirl
8 min readMay 6, 2019

How knowledge encourages people to act out of reason rather than chemical instinct.

Photo by Kewei Hu on Unsplash

Everyone knows how new zombies usually come into existence — through biting or scratching. Zombies don’t even think about what might happen before they create “new” undead life. Again, their core synapses aren’t really firing on all pistons as their chemical biological needs are driven by the need to consume. No one has to tell a zombie how to do it — it happens naturally. There are other ways that I detailed in this post:

Interestingly enough, humans also instinctively find ways to procreate, even if they don’t actually know how. Human curiosity about reproduction usually happens in the form of a rumor, and almost always because a child somewhere has been curious about the whys of how it happens. Playground antics and questions ensue, and in the case of my eight year old self, every kid in my school was talking about how to “do it.”

Mind you, like the zombies, no one knew exactly how to “do it,” but there was plenty of speculation, along with the normal thoughts of, “does kissing make babies?” down to the idea that you had to somehow “rub private parts together” to “do it.” On my playground we’d discovered that one intrepid couple attempted the act as toddlers. (And no, I do not know or want to know why that happened.) This meant that we had a baseline of ignorant knowledge from where to start from.

I know that I didn’t personally go home and ask my parental units. In fact, I don’t know that any of us actually asked any adults if our information was true. We already had the childish inkling that our naked bodies were taboo, and that our normal search for real truths was somehow outside the bounds of what was allowed. We were stifled and curious and not encouraged to seek something to set our minds straight or at ease from the people we should have been comfortable to trust most.

To be fair, for me that hadn’t been the first foray into curiosity about those things. I can remember being four and thinking about the topic, but…