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Zombies Don’t Use Waiting Rooms

Sunshine Zombiegirl
2 min readSep 10, 2019

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Because they don’t need to wait anywhere.

Photo by Jan Genge on Unsplash

What a zombie does during the regular part of his daily tasks can’t truly be considered waiting. Even if a zombie was in a waiting room, he would be there for eating, not waiting. So, for him, a waiting room would be more properly named “feasting place.”

This isn’t to imply that zombies are dumb animals. Clearly they have more brains (per pound) than most creatures. Zombies simply have “creative” ways of looking at things. Because they are so easy going and patient, you could almost mistake them for a dog. Almost. Fido the dog is a lot more loyal than Fido the zombie could be (Fido, the movie zombie, is an epic outlier.) Also, dogs are generally cleaner creatures. Zombies tend to look around, find dinner (either on the hoof or not), and make every place that they’ve ever been their own with blood and carnage.

Never has there ever been a creature more comfortable in its skin. Or someone else’s skin, depending on how messy the feeding frenzy was.

Which brings us back to the waiting room. A zombie would never be bored in a waiting room. There are too many people to eat. Considering the amount of time we spend in waiting rooms, it would be a veritable feast for the impatient nibbler. Waiting rooms are perfect places to hunt due to the fact that there aren’t too many exits…

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