You’re not weird. I used to think I had a disconnection between attraction and desire, too. I had Johnny Depp on my door as a teenager because someone gave me the poster. I stared at that poster trying to figure out why I was supposed to be attracted to it.

By the time I had access to staring at men’s wobbly bits, I had a lot of internal shrugging. I mean, it was kind of silly and undignified with all the dangle.

The truth about attraction is that for anyone it’s extremely complex. When people are told they are supposed to be a certain way, they certainly try. But there’s a reason why people have foot fetishes or elbow squirmies — and it’s because everyone’s separate experiences allows them to see things in different ways. And that’s amazing and cool. All we have to do is accept it for ourselves and not worry about the rest.