You hit the nail on the head again. Thank you for saying how I feel in terms that everyone can understand.

I have that same problem of really wanting to say, “You always put yourself first,” but instead, I stare at them until they stop nattering on about whatever new dysfunction, drama, or spending problem they’ve “added” to their lives as a result of “putting themselves first.”

Putting yourself first is supposed to be about making your life better by reducing the harms around you. It’s about growing as a person. It’s about learning how to quit giving into all that childhood damage that everyone seems to accumulate. It’s about being a grown up.