When Things Are Difficult
I have spent little time writing for my own sake in the last two and a half years. I haven’t published anything that wasn’t specifically a homework assignment for my master’s degree in the past fifteen months. I haven’t sat down in all this busyness I’ve made for myself and taken a space to breathe.
In under a year, my marriage ended, the job that I thought would be good wasn’t, I started dating someone new, my seizures became a huge issue, I changed jobs, my therapists changed, my biodad died, my mother created upheaval that had to be dealt with, I moved my home, and I finished my master’s degree and got my PMP.
I’ve learned a lot about myself. I regressed in some ways that I’m not proud of. I think that’s life, though. Life keeps moving on and changing, whether or not we’re ready for those changes. We move forward, we fall back. Sometimes, it hurts to breathe, but we get through because we aren’t alone.
It is difficult not to focus on all those bad, hard things, especially when we’re in the middle of them. People tell us, “It will be okay.” They tell us that we’re going to be fine. That we’re strong. That we’ll get through this. That we are only given what we can handle.
Seeing past the misery we’re suffering makes the aphorisms hurt, too. How dare they pretend things will be alright when they aren’t me? But the truth is…
