Reminds me of when my husband and I were looking into adoption. I was 26 at the time and my brother's death when I was 16 came up. I got slightly tearful and said that I still missed him. Later on, before we could move to the home check phase, they told me I had to "get counseling" because of my grief--that I hadn't moved on.

Say what? Missing my dead brother and getting a little teary-eyed ten years later is /normal/. It's that kind of assessment about people's grief that is of no use. It's been 30 years now, and I still miss him. I miss quite a lot of people that I've lost over the years, and I'm still moving forward in my life. It's healthy to miss people you love.