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Graduating in the School of Life
“And here’s a volunteer speaker from the School of Life. Majoring in Existential Editing and minoring in, well, everything else…Sunshine Zombiegirl! Let’s get this mic adjusted for you. There’s a bit of a height difference here.”
“Thank you, master of ceremonies, for short selling me. And I want to send out some special thank yous to my family — the ones I like, the ones who taught me stuff they shouldn’t have, and the ones who happily didn’t bother showing up today. Thank you, also, to the many many teachers that I’ve found on my path. Sometimes I tripped over you, and sometimes I used you as a bridge. At least I didn’t light you on fire!
“I stand before you today a changed woman. One that’s evolved since she was born. I’m not talking about the obvious features, but the less evident ones. To start, I am no longer plagued by boredom like I was as a kid. Now the world is simply too interesting and has so many distractions that it’s difficult to find a spare moment to zone out and do nothing.
“I’ve also come a long way from my first fumbling relationships, and have discovered the path toward maintaining and keeping friendships for many years. Giving up on relationships? I’ve learned how to do that, too. I have to admit that was my least fun homework, but with practice, I managed a solid “D-” in class. And “D-” is passing, right?
